Ask for More

Negotiation is a key skill for your job, your closest relationships, and even your everyday life, but often people shy away from it, feeling like they’re marching into battle or that they’re settling for less. Enter Alexandra Carter, Clinical Professor of Law and Director of the Mediation Program at Columbia University, NYC, who has taught students, business professionals and even the United Nations for more than a decade on this very topic. In Ask for More: Ten Questions to Improve Your Negotiations, Your Relationships and Your Life, Carter brings her breadth of knowledge to help anyone, regardless of their situation, ask for – and get – more.

Rather than adhering to the popular narrative that only the loudest and most assertive among us get what they want, Carter invites readers to rethink negotiation entirely. Through asking open-ended questions rather than panicked ones, you’ll be better able to steer a conversation, a negotiation, and ultimately a relationship for long-term success. She teaches a simple, yet powerful, ten-question framework for successful negotiation. The first five questions are the ones you first need to ask yourself (called ‘mirror’ questions) and the last five are the ones you ask who you’re negotiating with (called ‘window’ questions). The responses to such questions as “what’s brought me here?”, “how do I feel?” and “what do I need?” will pave the way for a productive conversation based on values and needs. Carter’s method helps readers go far beyond one “yes” or handshake to create value that lasts a lifetime.