Essentials of a Successful Marriage – A step by step guide
Synopsis of Essential of a Successful Marriage – A step-by-step guide “There is nothing automatic in your marriage: you get what you work for, and keep what you consistently work at”. This is the blueprint of my book; Essentials of a Successful Marriage – A step-by-step guide. It is a small book of seventy pages but power-packed with great content. It outlines the seven essential steps that couples can work at to cement and sustain the building blocks in their marriage. The number seven is quite significant as it represents perfection.
Essentials of a Successful Marriage – A step-by-step guide comprises an “About the author”, Foreword, Introduction, and seven chapters on the subject titles of Communication, Trust, Finance, Romance, Commitment, Love, and Prayer. The list is by no means exhaustive, however, for the book, discussions were limited to only these topics. The “About the author” is a brief profile of the author, the Foreword depicts the “Why” of the book while the Introduction portrays the reality of a “happily-ever-after” life, if and only if couples are ready to work at it.
Chapter 1 presents Communication as the live wire that makes the marriage work, without which the marriage will ultimately fail. Spouses are advised to spend time, resources, and energy to learn the art of effective communication in their marriage. The chapter further discussed the types of communication and rounds up with helpful hints on communication.
Chapter 2 started with a definition of Trust and depicts it as the bedrock of every relationship. It emphasizes the likelihood of a relationship not enduring without this very important attribute. It goes further to discuss the components of trust and examine what happens when trust is lacking in the marriage. The chapter concludes with helpful hints on building trust in marriage.
Chapter 3 highlighted Finance as being responsible for 30% to 40% of issues in marriage and goes on to ask this controversial question; “does money matter?” Furthermore, it discusses the different complexities of finance in marriage such as money management, living within your means, financial transparency, and accountability. The chapter closes with helpful hints on handling finance in marriage.
Chapter 4 presents Commitment as the Force in marriage. It highlights obligation, responsibility, and loyalty as words that are synonymous with commitment. It goes further to denotes commitment as the enduring decision to make the marriage work and also highlights the fact that marriages are failing today due to a lack of commitment. The chapter concludes with the usual helpful hints to help couples commit to marriage.
Chapter 5 portrays Romance as the flavor that sweetens the marriage. It goes further to depict Romance and Sex as two different but complementary activities. It also highlights gender differences in approach to this activity. The chapter encourages couples to make efforts to keep the flame of romance burning as this helps to keep the marriage going. It concludes with helpful hints on how couples can keep the romance alive in their marriage.
Chapter 6 defined Love as a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person. It however drew attention to the word as being greatly misused and abused. While Love exists in 3 major categories of Agape, Philos, and Eros, it is usually associated with only the Eros love. The chapter also talked about Passionate and Companionate love and how they impact marriage using the story of Joyce and Josh. It concluded with helpful hints on keeping love alive in marriage.
The concluding chapter 7 presents Prayer as the action that changes everything. Joyce and Josh (in chapter 6) were able to save their marriage through the power of prayer. The chapter also highlights the importance of couples praying together and praying for each other. It goes on to state the benefits of couples praying together which include deepening communication, companionship, humility, and honesty. It concludes with helpful hints on how couples can cultivate the habit of a sustainable prayer life. “Your marriage will not work itself, you have to work at it to make it work”. This is a recurring theme in the book in line with the blueprint. There is a school of thought that says; the first few years of marriage are usually very critical as this is the time when couples get to know each other and establish a bond in their relationship. Couples who can survive these years have a better chance of going the long run in marriage. This book intends to help newly wedded couples construct the building blocks in their marriage and for married couples to sustain theirs and live “happily-ever-after”!